Roka Engagements and the Hybridization of Arranged and “Love” Marriage in Urban India

Abstract

Objective

This study examines the role of roka marriage engagements in blurring the distinction between self-choice, also known as “love” marriage, and arranged marriage in urban India.

Background

Arranged marriage remains highly prevalent in India though recent research suggests that arranged marriages today increasingly incorporate elements of choice and compatibility. Previous research, however, has overlooked the important role of marriage engagements in this transformation. In North India, a roka ceremony often formalizes an arranged marriage match and marks the beginning of the engagement period.

Method

This study uses data from 48 interviews conducted in 2018 and 2019 with recently married couples, unmarried young people, and parents in the New Delhi area. All respondents were part of the college-educated middle class.

Results

Couples in arranged marriages were found to engage in courtship during their engagement, drawing on the scripts of romantic love and deviating from traditional practices that disallowed contact before the wedding. This courtship sometimes leads to a broken engagement. Roka engagements are also important, albeit for different aims, for couples in premarital romantic relationships. They often use the roka engagement to signal that they have obtained parental endorsement of their self-chosen match, an important step in avoiding social stigma and achieving the social legitimacy of their relationship.

Conclusions

The case of roka engagements reveals important ways in which the definition of arranged marriage has expanded to incorporate romantic love, emotional compatibility, and autonomy.