Men, Intimate Connections and the Timing of Fatherhood: Conceptualising ‘Misconnect’ within the Sociology of Personal Life

Abstract

Sociological explorations of trends of later parenthood have paid insufficient attention to the significance of intimate relationships, and of connectedness more generally, for such trends. This article presents findings from qualitative interviews with men (n = 25) who do not (yet) have children about their experiences of intimate relationship establishment and progression and imaginaries of fatherhood, presenting three themes: dating as elusive, fatherhood as elusive for unpartnered men and intimate relationships as risky. Findings are discussed in relation to theories of connection and connectedness, and theories of masculinities to consider how narratives are structurally shaped by gender. The article discusses the nuanced, complex ways in which people do and do not form and practise close relationships, and introduces the concept of ‘misconnect’ to better attend to disjunction in connection, discussing the significance of this concept for understandings of later parenthood and for the sociology of personal life more broadly.